The Moldy Toasts

Once upon a time, there was a baker who lived in a small village in the Pyrenees. The village was situated on an important road connecting France and Spain. However, because twenty years ago a tunnel was dug through the mountain, which diverted all the heavy traffic, hurried tourists and business travelers, only few nostalgic nomads ventured into the village. Mostly those who have been traveling the mountain route for years and didn't want to miss the breathtaking panorama of the crossing.

The baker, who had taken over the business from his family 380 years ago, had seen his customer base decline significantly since the traffic diversion was completed. Initially, connoisseurs of this road were still willing to endure the hardships involved in driving to visit the bakery, which used to also house a small café with services. Especially the sandwiches made with the bakery's own toasted bread were known far beyond the regional borders. Back then, the baker employed several workers, all of whom had since been made redundant due to the decline in business. For the much smaller number of customers he only baked one loaf of bread, which he would cut into ten slices. But even for this small quantity of bread, he could no longer find buyers. 

As an act of frustration with the changing times, he eventually took the last remaining four slices of bread and displayed them prominently in the shop window, exposing them to decay. As he himself decided to withdraw from life in the expectation it would soon end.

Until one day, a sudden loud banging noise interrupted his lethargic state; someone was hammering on the door of the bakery with enough force that it could be heard in the apartment above. It was a young, lively businessman who could hardly contain his excitement. He told the baker that the now mint-green moldy slices of bread on display at the bakery were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and he wanted to buy them all, no matter the cost.

Delighted by the prospect of business, the baker quoted an extortionate price and also mentioned that he had another eight mint green moldy slices that he just needed to find in the bakery's storage.

The unexpected guest was in a hurry and had no time to wait, but explained that he would be passing through again in four weeks to then buy all the twelve slices of bread.

Once the businessman had left, the baker threw up his hands in despair. "How could I!“, he cried. How was he to achieve the same level of mould within just four weeks if it would usually take months to complete? Those eight slices of bread didn't even exist yet.

'Making a virtue of necessity' is what came to his mind. So he started preparing the dough to form and bake multiple loaves of bread, to later slice and place them in the display of his shop window. After seven days, he gave up this attempt and resigned himself once again to waiting for the end of his life.

Just then the next idea struck him: He rushed into the bakery, baked more bread, packed it into his car, and drove as fast as possible to the nearest city. There, he sought a biologist working at the university. He explained his predicament and asked for her help in replicating the existing moldy slices of bread - again: no matter the cost. 

The biologist swiftly began her work, starting with the cultivation of various strains of fungi and bacteria. 

After a week, she presented her results. But the disappointment was great as the color difference compared to the existing slices was clearly visible to the naked eye. 

In the next attempt, the biologist began by meticulously analyzing the existing mould, culturing it separately on a different medium, and then inoculating the bread slices. This effort also failed. 

It was only when the biologist together with the baker replicated the bakery's climatic conditions in the lab that they successfully inoculated the toast slices to achieve satisfactory results.

The baker raced back to the village with anticipation, where he installed all twelve toast slices in his display. (Jakob Buchner, 2024)

 

The Way to Work 

The other day, a friend and I went to the Mariage Frères tea shop in Paris to buy a teapot. We were served by a very polite shop assistant who helped us through each step of the sales process so gently and thoughtfully that we ended spending one hour there. 

My friend and I started to play a game: looking at the wide variety of teapots differing in material, shapes, and colors, we tried to assign each model to one of our friends. 

Amidst the impressive selection of iron, glass, and porcelain teapots, which appeared in nuanced colors and in every conceivable shape, we lost ourselves in the joy of play. 

This tea shop game could also be taken a step further: I imagine myself buying the entire selection of teapots, placing them on the shelf next to my bed. 

Upon waking up, I would converse with myself and the collection of teapots, considering which teapot best suits my state of mind and the plans scheduled for the day. Maybe, the dainty round one made of glass with the wing-like handle or rather, the heavy one made of cast iron in matte black?

After a while, I would come to settle for a selection of three to five teapots, which I would use throughout the week. 

Due to laziness, I would sometimes use the same pot for an entire week. And occasionally, I would rearrange the entire shelf to create new focal points, accent rarely used teapots, or to make room for newly acquired specimens. 

Today, on my way to work, I had to change the side of the street because of a construction site. Coincidentally, I met a friend on this other side. We used to study together and haven't seen each other in years. I told him about the new herbal tea I had tried earlier in the morning. For this tea I was looking for a special porcelain teapot among my collection. 

When I had found it, I had to think of him, I told my friend. (Jakob Buchner, 2022)

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Sugar Water — Cibo Matto

Never an Easy Way — Morcheeba

Memory of a Free Festival (The Sunday Show, recorded 70-07-05) — David Bowie & The Tony Visconti Trio 

Watching Me Fall — The Cure

Overture / Going Through the Motions — Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cast 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Intro Song

All songs from the soundtrack of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

 

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